Anonymous said: I LOVE THAT YOU ARE UPLOADING AGAIN!!! I remember me reading eeeeeverything you posted last summer and i loved it so much and goooooooosh, i haven't read fanfics a lot lately but your new chapter makes me want so stay in all the time and read fanfics again
Ahh yay! I’m so happy :) I actually feel the same way I haven’t really been one direction crazed either but it’s slowly coming back! I’m posting the next chapter in a little let me know what you think x
“What are you wearing tonight?” Lucy asked me. She stood in front of a long mirror as she admired a white lace dress she had just put on. Her brown hair fell in front of her tanned face as she tilted her head to admire the outfit.
I sighed and fell back against her bed letting her over-sized pillows engulf me. It was finally Friday and we were done with classes. I was usually excited to go out but today was different. I had found out that my boyfriend had cheated on me just last week.
“I can’t do it,” I mumbled into one of her silk pillows. I cringed as I imagined the annoyance on her face. I knew she was sick of me moping around but I just couldn’t help it. I’ve taken notice to how she hasn’t been in the apartment as much this past week. I think she was trying to detox all things negative since she got out of a really horrific relationship just a few months ago.
“Charlie,” She said sweetly. I sat up and hid behind my blonde hair. It was matted to my face and looked a lot darker since I haven’t had the energy to shower the past couple of days. She sat down next to me on the bed and immediately wrapped her arms around me. I was confused for a second before I had realized that I was crying. I guess I’ve gotten so used to it that I had forgotten what it was like to feel normal. We stayed like this for a little bit until she pulled away.
“Look at me, Charlotte,” She said as she wiped my hair away from my face. I looked into her green concerned eyes. She looked like she was desperate for me to listen.
“I’m listening,” I managed to mumble.
“I know you think that this is the end and that I’m forcing you to do something that you feel that your not ready for, but the truth is that your never going to feel ready. I want you to go out there and to forget about him for at least a minute. You have to go out eventually so why not pull the bandaid off now? You can always leave if your really not feeling up to it.”
I thought about this for a second. My heart was telling me one thing and my mind was telling me another. I wanted to stay home in bed but looking at Lucy’s face was killing me. I felt like I was disappointing her, letting her down in a way.
“Can you pick out my outfit?” I forced a smile.
She squealed with excitement and stood up from the bed.
“Thats my girl!” Lucy squealed as she ran over to the closet. I laughed for the first time in forever hoping that my best friend was right about all of this.
I played dress up for the next hour. I stood in my room emotionless trying to throw in a laugh or a mumbled statement about something so Lucy could see that I was putting in an effort. She picked out a way too revealing black dress that had cutouts on the sides. I wouldn’t wear this normally but I was too tired to argue with her. She was even surprised that I was letting her do my hair and makeup. My hair fell in blonde waves over my shoulders and the smokey eye-makeup she did made my blue eyes pop. After a week of not caring what I looked like, I was surprised I could look this good.
Lucy entered the room looking amazing as usual. Her brown hair was in waves too- her signature. The white lacy dress looked amazing against her tanned skin. She walked slowly over to me trying not to spill the alcohol that filled the two shot glasses.
“What is this?” I asked hesitantly.
“Just take it,” She said as she handed me the glass. I took it reluctantly, trying to remind myself that I had to do this. Lucy raised her glass and waited for me to follow.
“Here’s to a great night and new beginnings.”
“And forgetting about Shane,” I added. She rolled her eyes playfully at my comment before taking the shot. I followed, allowing the alcohol burn my throat as it warmed my nerves.
“Tequila? Really?” I said through gritted teeth. I was trying not to throw up. The last time I had tequila was last spring break. That night didn’t really go so well.
“Your fine,” she waved me off.
By the time we arrived to the bar it was packed. Just waiting outside I could tell that there wouldn’t be too much room inside especially since there are people spilling out onto the streets, drinks in hands, having cigarettes. I stumbled on my heels as we moved forward in line, the five shots I had taken was finally hitting me and I didn’t mind the state of fogginess that was taking over my brain. Shane wasn’t on my mind for once.
“Let’s get a drink,” Lucy stated as soon as we walked through the door. She grabbed my hand and leaded me through the sea of people towards the bar before I had a chance to answer.
“Two vodka sodas,” Lucy told the bartender, cutting about twenty people in line. She always did things like this but it wasn’t like she didn’t notice, she just didn’t care. I wish I was more like her sometimes.
When we got our drinks I knew that it was time for me make a round of the bar since a guy started to chat up Lucy. He was cute, very tall and fit. He looked like he was in the marines. I was a little annoyed that she had made me go out and then ended up ditching me for a guy but the alcohol was working and I knew that I should be madder than I was feeling.
I weaved in and out of the crowd, stumbling and pushing through people. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for or what I wanted to do but I just couldn’t stand still. I was on the way to the bathroom when I felt someone slam into me. The force was too much for my drunken self causing my drink to spill all over me, my feet stumbling. I was sure I was going to fall before the body grabbed me and propped me up.
“I am so sorry,” I heard a deep voice say. Was that British? I couldn’t make it out it was so loud in here and my head was spinning.
“It’s fine whatever,” I waved him off. He stood there, his arm still holding onto my waist. I felt uncomfortably close to him I could smell his cologne and feel the soft fabric of his plaid shirt.
“I’m made you spill your drink. Let me buy you another one,” He said, his eyes looking concerned. My drunk mind had made out the figure of his jawline and tousled hair. He was cute- really cute.
“I’m fine,” was all I could hear myself say and for some reason I was walking away. There was a voice in the back of my head, a very sober voice, that was telling me to stay but I wasn’t listening. I walked into the bathroom blinded by the harsh lighting. Standing at the sink, I washed my hands as I stared at myself in the mirror. My curls had fallen out a little bit, my hair falling in beachy waves around my face. I tried looking at my phone going straight to Shane’s number. Do I text him? No. I can’t do that to myself. I threw my phone back into my bag and attempted to dry the front of my dress with paper towels. It wasn’t really helping but it didn’t matter, you couldn’t even see that it was wet since it was black. I finally gave up and just walked out of the bathroom in hopes that I could find Lucy and leave. I was done with the night before I had even left the apartment. I didn’t even drink that much but since I hadn’t eaten all week, the alcohol had hit me and it was starting to make me feel sick. Or maybe it was the fact that I started to think about Shane again.
As soon as I left the bathroom, I felt a tug on my arm causing my body to stumble against the wall. I put out my hand to stop my body from flying into the wall but instead, I found myself pressed up against a familiar body. All I saw was plaid.
“What the fuck.”
It was dark in the hallway and I started to panic. No one would hear me if something were to happen. I hated that the bathrooms were tucked away in a dark hallway of the bar. I knew I shouldn’t have gone out. And just like that, all these creepy scenarios were running through my mind. I’m going to be murdered. Or worst.
“Stop following me! I’ll scream!” I warned as I pushed the body away. My push made him stumble back that made me catch a glimpse of his face from the dim wall light. He was really really cute. I shook my head, that didn’t matter.
“Woah,” he said with a deep voice. He threw his hands up in surrender, his eyes wide with surprise. “I just felt bad for spilling your drink before. Just wanted to let you know that the offer stills stands but I don’t think you need anymore to drink.”
“Do you smoke?” I asked.
“Umm yah,” he replied hesitantly.
“Okay great. Lets go,” I grabbed his hand and led him out into the bar. I tried looking for Lucy but didn’t see her. I knew she was still in the bar- that was our rule, never leave without saying anything.
I could feel the breezy April night as soon as we stepped outside. There was still a line to get into the bar but wasn’t as long as it was before. I scanned the crowd of smokers wondering if Lucy would come out here but I couldn’t spot her. Handing over a cigarette to him, I noticed a couple of tattoos on his hand and arm.
“What do those mean?” I asked. He looked at me confused until he realized what I was referring to.
“I can’t tell you,” He finally said with a smirk.
“Because I don’t know you.”
“Because I don’t know you?” I repeated confusingly. “That makes no sense. I’m trying to get to know you.”
He shrugged and put the cigarette I had just given him between his teeth. I just rolled my eyes and lit my cigarette before handing it over to him.
“What’s your name?” I asked in-between puffs. I crossed my arms and waited for an answer, finding amusement as he tried not to cough.
“Can’t tell you that either,” he said, finally coughing at the end of the sentence. “I have to be honest, I don’t really smoke.”
“Then why are you out here?” I asked, annoyance drenched in my tone. This guy was cute but really annoying to talk with. He completely ignored my question and tilted his head, his shaggy brown hair falling in front of his eyes.
"What’s your name?" He finally asked.
“I can’t tell you that,” I said mockingly using my best British accent. He laughed at this and I couldn’t help but feel a churning in my stomach.
“Charlie!” I heard Lucy’s voice but couldn’t see her. I turned around and found her stomping over to me with her heels. “I have been looking for you everywhere!”
I immediately handed over my cigarette to the cute guy and pushed my hair out of my face.
“I saw you talking to that guy so I just went to the bathroom.”
“When did you start smoking? I thought you quit,” Lucy asked as she pointed to the cigarette the cute guy was holding.
“I did um- I was just holding that for him,” I turned towards him and widened my eyes as he watched all of this with amusement on his face. I was practically begging him with my eyes to go along with this story.
“Sorry. Big smoker,” he finally said, shrugging his shoulders and taking a drag. I could tell he was trying really hard not to cough again as he blew out the smoke.
Lucy narrowed her eyes and grabbed my arm.
“Want to go?” She asked.
“Please,” I begged, beginning to walk away. I slid into the first taxi that was just outside the bar, the cold seats sending chills down my legs.
“I’ll see you around,” I heard the familiar British voice say. I looked up to see him leaning against the car door making it hard for Lucy to shut it.
“I doubt that,” I mumbled.
“Hey I know you from somewhere,” Lucy said, furrowing her perfectly shaped eyebrows.
He just shrugged his shoulders and shut the door. What was with this guy?
“I swear I know him,” Lucy said again as she sat back against the seat.
“Whatever I just want to go home,” I said, grabbing my head. I knew I shouldn’t have gone out tonight it was just a waste.
“OH MY GOD. That was Harry Styles. No wonder why I recognized him.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, still clutching my head in my hands.
“You just smoked with Harry Styles,” Lucy confirmed.
I looked up from my hands and watched the excitement on her face grow. No wonder why he was being all moody and weird. I just couldn’t figure out why he was spending the whole night following me.
Hey everyone! I know it’s been like forever I hope you guys haven’t forgotten about me. I am finally home from school for the summer with nothing to do so I started a new fanfic. I am not a fan of the last one I had started so Im scrapping that- sorry if anyone had liked that one but I just wasn’t in love with the characters. So anyways I’m posting chapter one to my new fanfic let me know what you guys think! Also I would love to hear from you guys and see how your doing x
sighru-s said: I am so happy you're home! How was England and how's your dad?
I’m missing England more and more everyday :( And dad is doing well thank god!
heyy everyone! ive been gone for what feels like forever, studying in england for the semester but im back in new york now! i want to come back to writing but realize im not a fan of my latest writing so i think i might scrap that and start a new one if thats ok with you guys? i would love to hear from you all! x
this is like my third day in England?? and i love it having so much fun !
Anonymous said: DO YOU HAVE A TWITTER
infinitely-self-destructive said: Awwwwww I miss you ! Have fun studying in England though. Hope everything with your dad is well. & I hope you are well too ! Take care love :) xo
aww thanks girl! x
Sorry guys but I’m leaving tomorrow to study abroad in England so that’s why I haven’t been around I’ve been too busy idk if ill have time to update over there ill definitely come back but it might be awhile I love you all xxx ps let me know how the 1d movie was for anyone who saw it! Is it worth seeing ??
sorry guys i ended up staying in the hamptons for two weeks instead of just a weekend haha anyways ill be posting tonight xx